I love my human;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long dead squirrel.
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face
I lie belly up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be
I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill us all!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle
I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack
Sleeping here, my chin -
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe chasing cats
I sound the alarm!
Dinner guests - come to kill us all -
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
The cat is not all
Bad - she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls
Dig under the fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
there. Because it's there.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.
-Author Unknown